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“The only way to be a warrior is to accept the death of everything around you…taking a bunch of hallucinogenic drugs and hanging out with a bunch of rich fake seekers that surround themselves with self pleasuring journeys so they can pretend to relive past spiritual ceremonious endeavors of indigenous people and claim to be enlightened is simply masterbation”

That’s  what my ex-boyfriend said to me after I’d spent two going on three months in the amazon rainforest. I was there learning about permaculture and sustainable living, working with indigenous cultures and plant based medicinal remedies, tripping over giant caterpillars, spiders, and snakes… and oh right participating in ayahuasca ceremonies through the shamanic shapibo lineage.

My ex’s obvious hostility notwithstanding, I understood why he was upset with me. I made it clear that I wouldn’t be renewing my lease on an on-again-off-again relationship that had taken up nearly five years of my life. I didn’t mince words, I didn’t lie to protect his feelings, and I didn’t allow myself to be intimidated. I was as clear and direct as I could be… and he was pissed.

The swan song is the melody sung before dying, and this was his verse to me. A song of pain,  judgement and death. But what is the tune of freedom? Of finally coming to life?

I had changed, I wasn’t the girl who’d left for the jungles of Peru a few months prior. I also wasn’t the girl who didn’t know what she wanted, who was uncomfortable with the uncertainty of her future, or who couldn’t make up her mind. So when I got an email from my ex suggesting that we get back together. I channelled my inner Taylor Swift and just said never.

How was I able to untangle myself from this five year saga of unrequited love and drama? How was I able to unshackle myself from the guilt and fear of ending yet another unfulfilling relationship? By participating in a shamanic tradition that has spanned over a millenia.

With the guidance of two Shipibo elders, one kick ass facilitator, and eleven like minded souls on a healing voyage, I was able to heal myself from a sense of attachment and grief that I’d felt all my life, and had colored every circumstance of my existence. It was all made possible by the teacher plant Ayawaska.

In the western world we have two distinct categories for substances that produce psychoactive chemical reactions in the body: Medicinal and recreational. It’s a common misconception that because ayawaska is a visionary plant, that she automatically goes into the recreational category. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Ayawaska is not a drug at all, she is a conscious intelligent sentient life form. And no this isn’t the opening segment of an episode of Star Trek.

Currently, on earth, in this time/space continuum, human beings have access to a miracle. A mind/body and emotional medicine that has the ability to take you from illness to wellness on just about any topic that you bring to her, from debilitating romance to debilitating disease; and she doesn’t charge you three hundred dollars a session for advice, or send you home with a treatment where the side effects are worse than the problem.

 Represented by the serpent, and resonating with a deeply feminine energy; Ayawaska’s influence cannot be predicted or dominated.  Like many powerful females bound to slithering symbols, she has a tendency to scare some people. But as any empowered woman knows, diming your light, will never make the light in others shine brighter.

The experience of working with this medicine ranges from facing your worst nightmares, as she drags you through the dark night of the soul; to skipping through the elysian fields fully embodied, as she expands your consciousness.

She heals your fear, your pain, your trama, your anger, your depression, and your body; clearing the way for the love, the joy, the self-empowerment, the confidence, and the divine creativity that lies underneath.

Basicly she merges your soul with your personality allowing you to walk in the world as the sharpest, shiniest, shapeliest version of yourself that physical reality has to offer. At the end of the day she is a teacher and every educational experience requires the participation of the student.  Together you can dismantle illusions of separation, and rewrite your DNA to accept higher frequencies of unconditional love. You can change your life from the inside out. The shifts are so deep and profound that many, myself included, have experienced resistance from loved ones, that have trouble accepting the better and brighter version of you. But thankfully the medicine also gives you the inner resources to handle anything life may chuck your way.

Awareness is rapidly being raised about the benefits of ayawaska as modern science slowly beginnings to understand portions of what the native Shipibo, Quechua, and many other cultures have know for generations. That we are all energy, that plants have consciousness, and that if we work together we can heal ourselves and subsequently our planet. If we are willing to learn, they are willing to teach. Ayawaska offered me my freedom, a new life where the probabilities are endless, and love is abundant in all forms.  I wake up every single day and offer her my gratitude, as I sing the song of the serpent.


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1 Comment

  1. Martin Anarkis


    I do love your work so much!

    You put it out so directly and you awoid the dualistic tention so elegantly.

    Lots of love from me!

    Martin Anarkis


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