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THE VINE IN MY SOUL BY Cosetta Romani

THE VINE IN MY SOUL BY Cosetta Romani

THE VINE IN MY SOUL

Another night has fallen
the jungle exuberant
sounds shifting
insects and frogs

A tremor in my heart,
cramps of fear
in my empty gut
while mind watches
the opening rituals

of a new  ceremony
not to be treated lightly.

Inebriating floral water
sprinkled generously
on us
and around the perimeter
of the maloca

From the shaman’s pipes
long, hard puffs
of woody tobacco
cracks of red glow
sparking the dark room

Floating clouds of smoke
protecting the space.

Songs whistled
to the medicine plant
now living in a bottle
waiting to be served
on shot glasses.

Silence,
We move slowly,
one by one
we go to the center
of the room

sit on bare floor, wait
and drink.

Before gulping the thick, pungent brew
I pray to her
ask to be gentle
while I meet death.
I pray to be shown the way

I rinse the soured mouth,
blew more tobacco around me
lay down on my mat
the room darker
motionless

We wait, pray, meditate
time dissolves within the silent vigil

A subtle current
arises
from the base of my spine
I sit crossed legs
She is here

She sways in stillness
slowly calling
for my attention.
I deepen the breath
let her move along

The vine climbs in swirls
uprooting
what has been forgotten
healing
what hasn’t been forgiven.

I purged in the bucket
I sound like an animal

The taste of old wounds
lack of boundaries
chronic habits
unconscious actions
Karma

The sapient medicine
urges me to love the
ancestral hurts.
Then she takes me further
than that

and show the excruciating pain
of men inflicting on others.

My sorrow, fears,
dark thoughts
blended with humble acceptance
deeper surrender,
trust and gratitude.

My brain expands
its mind wandering
I get lost in thoughts
images
sensations.

My body shifts into shapes of pain or ease
longs for more respect.

I give gratitude to my bones,
organs, nails, hair
as I shrink into a fetus
buried in earth
I witness another death.

The room gets louder
a chain effect of difficult purges
my new friends of the journey
face down
in their buckets of tears

Waves of  compassion inundate me
with better love for them, for myself.

She makes me witness
the long lasting suffering
of women throughout history
Fathers and husbands
raping, abusing their blood

Blinded by ignorance
they slaughtered the heart
of their souls.
The vine asks me to understand
samsara

the wheel of karma
And forgive the unforgivable.

Innocence of child
Can save me from sadness
Spirits of Nature
Can teach me the secrets
of a heart light like a feather.

Now Silence. Mind quite. I  Pay attention
to subtleties of my perceptions.
Spirits walking on my skin
like little spiders
others play with my hair

I train my mind to listen
to a vibration in the background

Yes indeed the world is humming
an ongoing creation of vibrations
I nest here for a while
nurturing this direct
experience of God.

I am here in service
of the Divine Mother
with a kind heart
through rituals of beauty
healing arts

As I keep seeking I offer
my unconditional confidence
to the Light on this sacred life.

Cosetta Romani October 29th 2013

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